Tonight, like every Monday and Wednesday night at 7:30 to 10:30 since mid-September until January, I had EMT class. But I didn't go.
Why not? My dad fronted up good money, and it wasn't for me to go around skipping classes. But tonight, something different was in the air, or maybe it was just me. While running some errands, I thought where do all these roads go? I've lived here all my life, shouldn't I find out? And that's what I did tonight. I mean, I never was the hooky type before. In high school, I was practically dating my test tubes, and was cheating on them with my textbooks.. But that was then.
So I left home early to just drive, I did plan to go to class, but then I realized I didn't even have my ID on me. Plus, I've missed scheduling my rotations because I haven't had my immunizations up to date. Heck, I don't even have a general practitioner. with all that going through my head, I just decided to get driving. Before I knew it I was in the Southern part of town.
I drove through a lot of long winding roads, which made me think I wasn't even in New York anymore, but some back road in Bumblefuck, NJ. And who'd want to be there?
I don't know why I did that tonight? Maybe it was my little run-away. Maybe sub-consciously I don't want to be an EMT. Or maybe I was simply bored. Who knows? But I did get to clear my head a bit.
Life's pretty ordinary these days. I feel like my real life doesn't begin until I start those late-night calls for the FDNY. But now a days, nothing seems to be happening. Nothing bad. But nothing good either (or is it "neither"?). Just nothing. Just writing that makes it kind of depressing - and pathetic.
I guess that's why I love going back to the old campus every now and then. Because there, I feel alive again. Just being in good company does that to you, you know? Of course, I got my own friends from school who graduated here in the city, but with everything happening between me and this friend, I'm trying not to run into her. But I do miss her.
You know that latin phrase, Carpe Diem, "Seize the day"? Well, I have to Carpe-FREAKIN'-Diem. I've been meaning to head to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden and take some pictures, but the weather has been so crappy - and not to mention, colder than the balls of the Tibetan monk (not that I'd know of course). I also have meaning to meet up with some friends up in Columbia after flaking on them. But then again, I feel more obliged to visit, than for the sake of really seeing them.
That's the funny thing about me, if I have to be there, I won't feel like being there.
Hint of a commitment issue there? Maybe.
But I should definitely be out there. I mean if I can be a fun guy around people, can't I be that same fun guy for myself?
I think so. God, I hope so.
Why not? My dad fronted up good money, and it wasn't for me to go around skipping classes. But tonight, something different was in the air, or maybe it was just me. While running some errands, I thought where do all these roads go? I've lived here all my life, shouldn't I find out? And that's what I did tonight. I mean, I never was the hooky type before. In high school, I was practically dating my test tubes, and was cheating on them with my textbooks.. But that was then.
So I left home early to just drive, I did plan to go to class, but then I realized I didn't even have my ID on me. Plus, I've missed scheduling my rotations because I haven't had my immunizations up to date. Heck, I don't even have a general practitioner. with all that going through my head, I just decided to get driving. Before I knew it I was in the Southern part of town.
I drove through a lot of long winding roads, which made me think I wasn't even in New York anymore, but some back road in Bumblefuck, NJ. And who'd want to be there?
I don't know why I did that tonight? Maybe it was my little run-away. Maybe sub-consciously I don't want to be an EMT. Or maybe I was simply bored. Who knows? But I did get to clear my head a bit.
Life's pretty ordinary these days. I feel like my real life doesn't begin until I start those late-night calls for the FDNY. But now a days, nothing seems to be happening. Nothing bad. But nothing good either (or is it "neither"?). Just nothing. Just writing that makes it kind of depressing - and pathetic.
I guess that's why I love going back to the old campus every now and then. Because there, I feel alive again. Just being in good company does that to you, you know? Of course, I got my own friends from school who graduated here in the city, but with everything happening between me and this friend, I'm trying not to run into her. But I do miss her.
You know that latin phrase, Carpe Diem, "Seize the day"? Well, I have to Carpe-FREAKIN'-Diem. I've been meaning to head to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden and take some pictures, but the weather has been so crappy - and not to mention, colder than the balls of the Tibetan monk (not that I'd know of course). I also have meaning to meet up with some friends up in Columbia after flaking on them. But then again, I feel more obliged to visit, than for the sake of really seeing them.
That's the funny thing about me, if I have to be there, I won't feel like being there.
Hint of a commitment issue there? Maybe.
But I should definitely be out there. I mean if I can be a fun guy around people, can't I be that same fun guy for myself?
I think so. God, I hope so.
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