You see, I deal with a lot of shit. Besides, illnesses and injuries - I deal with people. People with broken pasts, or just broken people. And this stuff gets to me. I take all the problems in their lives, and take it as my own. And then when I get home, and try to relax - I can't, because all their stuff comes up. And it seems that the only way I can separate work from home is talking about this.
But 1) There's no one to "unload" on because they're so busy with self-absorbed with their own shit.
And 2) I hate coming off as some weak-ass punk who can't hack it.
I hate talking about this. Mostly because I come off as weak. I don't want to appear weak. I can't.
Who the hell can somebody help someone else, when they can't even help themselves? Can't even carry their own burdens?
I hate talking about this. I hate coming off as some weak punk who can't hack it. But it seems that the only way that I can hack it is if I can unload a bit of this on the people around me.
Fuck, why can't I do this on my own?! Why the hell do I have to bother others with this - THIS: My own personal burden.
Dammit! I want to do this on my own.
Because when stuff goes down for people around you, but you couldn't carry your own stuff -
What the hell are you gonna do then?
Psh, some "hero" I'm turning out to be.