I mean, I thought I would get used to all this running around at night, but I don't think so.
I can't even dream a damn decent dream.
Sure, I dream about family and friends. But ultimately, some theme about an emergency or taking care of some patient arises. And that's it. Family and friends? They're just the supporting cast.
In the end, it's just me - chasing pavement. Ha, and not even a damn hot and sexy dream about some girl!
It's like, I can't unwind anymore. I can come back from a night of work, and not not come back at the same time. I can't switch-off.
I don't want to come off and bitch about circumstances I chose - because this is it. This is my choice. No second-guessing here. I'm doing "good".
But I'm having trouble handling all this on my own. And at the same time, I don't want to be one of those people who puts their burdens on somebody else.
I help people. But who will help me?