No Einstein

Alright, so I'm not exactly the sharpest knife in the proverbial drawer. I've done some pretty stupid things in my past. Most often than not, they're the result of acting without thinking. This is just one such thing...

For about a year now, I've been taking daily hikes. Venues change, such as the boardwalk or a local park. But as long as I get some fresh air and get the blood flowing, I'm good. Nothing like getting out there and wandering, alone with your thoughts - it's just easy. Earlier today, it was gray and cold, with a fresh coat of April showers. Most people would just stay in under the covers or spend a lazy day on the couch and watch three straight hours of Top Chef or something like that. But now your ever-loving me. So I set out for the park down the block, with hiking sneakers, slacks, running jacket, and a weighted vest for that little challenge. About a mile and a half into my routine, I noticed I had not come across another person in the park. I smiled to myself, enjoying the solitude. Savoring the time when I could let out my constant inner-monologue out-loud! It almost on cue, it began to rain. But I did not mind. On the contrary, I loved it. Not bad, eh?
And then came the thunder. "It's alright," I told myself. "I still don't see any flashes of lightning." Spoke to soon. Flashes of light lit up the sky around me, with the thunder rumbling the ground beneath my feet. I quickened my pace. And then an awareness came to me like, Oh-snap!-I-left- the-iron-on!
"Oh shit," I said to myself. "I'm drenched head to toe with rain and sweat, with 50 lbs of metal strapped to my body!" Oh shit. "I'm a walking fucking conductor."
The panic lessened as I remembered I'd be alright. If God would take me home now, I'd be fine with that. Why the hell not? No more problems. No more drama. No more struggles. Just good times ahead with God. I man'ed up and kept on going.

I covered my ears and ran a bit faster.
Real brave, big boy. Real brave.

I got home safe. Un-sing'ed, but soaked. And jumped into a nice hot shower.
Heh, I'm no Einstein.

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