Today, I visited my college campus to take care of a few things. One of them was moving my graduation date... again. This has got to be the third time that I've moved up my graduation date. Because of the life I live and the other lives I juggle, I've made a lot of sacrifices. Unfortunately, one of these sacrifices was Academics. Because of all this day-to-day hero business, and attempts to build some kind of social life, I haven't been able to really focus on my studies. No. I chose to not focus on my studies. That was a mistake, and I'm paying for it by being stuck in college for one more semester for one more class for one degree. One more semester. One more class. Wow, and I thought I was done with all this college business. Guess not.
Before I left campus, I visited one of my favorite places to just sit and think, this closed fountain outside the Earth Space and Science building. When I first got into the university five years ago, the fountain was still in working order, but not anymore. Today I sat there, and thought about all the things that happened the since I was that 17 year-old freshmen. I thought about my past. My past memories. My past ambitions. My past love-life. But most of all I thought about the past me and realized how just much I have changed. When I was a freshmen, I was an as off-the-wall and animated as one of those Japanese anime characters. I was a hopeful impassioned kid. I've come a long way from that boy who would leap onto table-tops with a smile that brimmed from ear-to-ear.
Or have I? Ok, I'm not exactly jumping all over the place, but the same passion comes back into me. I've always been the type of person that wears their heart on their sleeves. The only thing that has changed is that my sleeves got longer and I hid somethings inside, but that passion, that fierce raw emotion is still there, clawing to get out. Is this really growing up? Sometimes in the quiet of night on some lone rooftop, I feel that I'm still the 4 year-old boy clinging onto his father's leg on his first day of pre-school. The future unknown... and scary.
And then I thought that there comes a time in our lives when we must put away the things of childhood, and step forward boldly as a man. Sometimes there are situations when we are forced to step up. But there is a point in our lives when we choose to. And I think that not until this summer, I've put myself into situations when I had to step up as man. Today, as I sat at the fountain steps and drifting between thoughts of what has come and gone and what is to come, I made a choice. I chose to finally become the man I dreamed I would become ever since I first tied a blanket around my neck and played the hero. I am at a point in my life where I choose to be the hero.
As I left my little "fountain of solitude", I began to take responsibility for all the things I have done. The good and not so good. The courageous and the foolish. My friend once said that people don't change, they only become who they were meant to be all along. Tonight, I'm looking the past me in the eye and showing myself: I'm a 22 year-old part-time student; searching for a job and soon moonlighting EMT classes; still struggling to pay off bills; still in love with the same girl since the day I met her. And if I myself am not okay with that, then who will be?
Before I left campus, I visited one of my favorite places to just sit and think, this closed fountain outside the Earth Space and Science building. When I first got into the university five years ago, the fountain was still in working order, but not anymore. Today I sat there, and thought about all the things that happened the since I was that 17 year-old freshmen. I thought about my past. My past memories. My past ambitions. My past love-life. But most of all I thought about the past me and realized how just much I have changed. When I was a freshmen, I was an as off-the-wall and animated as one of those Japanese anime characters. I was a hopeful impassioned kid. I've come a long way from that boy who would leap onto table-tops with a smile that brimmed from ear-to-ear.
Or have I? Ok, I'm not exactly jumping all over the place, but the same passion comes back into me. I've always been the type of person that wears their heart on their sleeves. The only thing that has changed is that my sleeves got longer and I hid somethings inside, but that passion, that fierce raw emotion is still there, clawing to get out. Is this really growing up? Sometimes in the quiet of night on some lone rooftop, I feel that I'm still the 4 year-old boy clinging onto his father's leg on his first day of pre-school. The future unknown... and scary.
And then I thought that there comes a time in our lives when we must put away the things of childhood, and step forward boldly as a man. Sometimes there are situations when we are forced to step up. But there is a point in our lives when we choose to. And I think that not until this summer, I've put myself into situations when I had to step up as man. Today, as I sat at the fountain steps and drifting between thoughts of what has come and gone and what is to come, I made a choice. I chose to finally become the man I dreamed I would become ever since I first tied a blanket around my neck and played the hero. I am at a point in my life where I choose to be the hero.
As I left my little "fountain of solitude", I began to take responsibility for all the things I have done. The good and not so good. The courageous and the foolish. My friend once said that people don't change, they only become who they were meant to be all along. Tonight, I'm looking the past me in the eye and showing myself: I'm a 22 year-old part-time student; searching for a job and soon moonlighting EMT classes; still struggling to pay off bills; still in love with the same girl since the day I met her. And if I myself am not okay with that, then who will be?
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